January 19, 2020

My mind has been in kind of a funk the past few weeks. I couldn’t really figure out why, no particular reason. At least none that was apparent to me. This morning at church there was a guest pastor and I really got pulled in by his preaching. It hit me that what I’ve been missing is church. I could literally feel my spirit being renewed. Between Judah being sick and us traveling and me hunting and me teaching Sunday school, it’s been a while since I’ve sat quietly and listened to a good preacher and let myself be immersed in it.

Sitting there, my mind became calmer, my emotions became calmer, my spirit became calmer. I felt refreshed. I think from now on on mornings when I teach my kids I need to skip Sunday school and go listen to Dr. Smith instead, much as I don’t like the contemporary service.

At the end of the sermon, his invitation was for anyone who wanted to pray more to come up and pray with him at the altar. I absolutely do not like going up in front of church, I never have. It makes me nervous and anxious and embarrassed, even though it’s completely not an embarrassing thing to do. Part of me wanted to go up, but I fought it tooth and nail. When I saw how many other people got up and were walking to the front, the presence of the Holy Spirit was palpable. I couldn’t help but go too. I want to be better at praying, and I think it would be good for me and for our family if I renew my focus on prayer.

I love you.